


We knew there´d be a price

by Mimmi_ger



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Female Harry Potter, Making decisions, Pregnancy Scares, Requested work, Sequel, Teacher-Student Relationship, Uncertainty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2019-05-06 04:59:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14634606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mimmi_ger/pseuds/Mimmi_ger
Summary: How the hell had he come into this situation? Severus muses as he wakes up only to find himself not only NOT in his own bed, not even in his own chambers for crying out loud, but in some students dormitory, starkers with an arm full of an equally naked Harrietta Potter. Heavens help, what had he done?Sequel to Dangerous Game





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [reinedangoisse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/reinedangoisse/gifts).



> Hello,
> 
> so this is a requested work and even though I actually had no time for it I couldn´t ban it from my thoughts and quickly wrote it down.  
> reinedangoisse, I hope you like it, even though the pregnancy scare is not the main topic (it got somehow out of hand again) :D
> 
> About the length....yeah, well...It seems I can´t write anything short *sorry/not sorry at all* :D

** We knew there'd be a price **

** Chapter 1 **

How the hell had he come into this situation? Severus muses as he wakes up only to find himself not only NOT in his own bed, not even in his own chambers for crying out loud, but in some students dormitory, starkers with an arm full of an equally naked Harrietta Potter. Heavens help, what had he done?

Severus turns cautiously as not to disturb Harry, but of course just his luck she opens her eyes as soon as he tries to entangle himself from the young woman.

"Hi," she smiles and stretches up to press a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth.

"Get off me. I can't feel my right side anymore," Severus demands not overly friendly. The smile on Harry's face fades and turns into a frown.

"Is something the matter?" she asks, her frown deepening.

"What do you think how it looks like if someone finds me here? In your bed?" Severus stands up and casts a glance to the alarm clock on the nightstand. He groans. It´s almost past dinner time. How wonderful.

"Oh." Harry's face lights up as she giggles. "They're suspicious anyway, what we´re doing here that long, that's for sure." She tries to wrap her arms around him from behind, but Severus takes a step away and angles for his clothes.

He straightens in front of the bed, closing carefully his trousers first before turning around, glaring down. "Harry."

"What? Can´t I touch you anymore?" She peers up at him with such an innocent gaze, Severus cringes inwardly at how young she looks.

"I have no time for that nonsense."

“Oh, so it´s nonsense now?” Harry purses her lips.

Severus huffs in frustration, closing the buttons of his shirt but not overly successful as Harry stands up from the bed and slides her hands over his chest, hindering him to close more buttons. He grips her wrists. “Stop that! The locked door might be even more suspicious than my ongoing stay within these quarters. Not to mention the silencing charm.”

„Silencing charm?” Harry asks undeniable confused.

Severus shrugs into his jacket and raises his eyebrows at her.

“For one thing, I´m not overly fond of being interrupted while sorting problems out, so that´s for the locked door. And for another thing, I expected you´ll lose your temper and shout a colourful collection of names and accusations at me, so I saw fit to prevent eavesdropping. But of course you didn´t know that because you stuck under your blanket as I came in.” While he talks he fastens the clasp of his robes and smooths now the last wrinkles out of his clothes. Again he notices how Harry inches closer and invades his personal space. He fights the urge to step away. He holds his ground, standing stiff in front of the girl.

“Why are you so strange now?”

“I am not, Miss Potter.”

Harry takes a step back, she looks so wounded as if he slapped her, but her voice is sure as she retorts, “That is your opinion, then, **Professor**.”

“Obviously.” He regards her for a moment. “You better get dressed. **Before** I open the door.”

“Why? It´s my dorm. It´s not exactly unusual that I´m naked in here.” She shrugs.

“Oh you silly girl!” Severus snarls. “Do you want everyone to know that you were naked while I was here?”

Harry grins but under his glare she stops quickly.

“Why do I have the feeling I missed something important? I mean, honestly. You barge in here and apologise for your behaviour. Then you veritably seduce me. We sleep in each other´s arms and now you´re like a block of ice and I´m not even allowed to touch you. Would you enlighten me, please?” Harry has her arms crossed in front of her chest and taps her foot on the floor. She looks angry but Severus can´t stop the smirk. She forgot obviously that she´s still naked.

“Stop that and answer me,” she demands, glaring now up at him.

Severus grasps his hands behind his back and paces back and forth like he sometimes does in class when he lectures the students. Then he stops abruptly in front of Harry, gazes down at her and can´t stop looking anymore. He can´t think straight in her proximity, obviously. It was a mistake to notice her, to urge her to go farther and farther. To see her. Really see her. She´s beautiful. Breath taking. Like so often when it comes to this girl he misjudged the situation. But it was wrong. They couldn´t. Not like this. Though, it would hurt. Not only her.

“We can´t continue this. We shouldn´t even have started it to begin with.” Finally unnerved with her nakedness he steps past her and drapes the blanket over her shoulders.

“Great. Really, that´s fabulous. Why can´t we continue now after you pushed it to this? Now that you finally understood that I'm serious about it,” she asks and wraps the blanket tighter around herself.

“It´s not allowed,” Severus states plainly. He can almost feel how Harry tries to stay calm and not jump and strangle him. He knows that it´s only an excuse of him and a really flimsy one as it is. He´d crossed the line already, why should he suddenly start bothering. Not that he doesn´t. It **isn´t** allowed, after all.

“And the last two weeks it was what? A grey area because you haven´t meant it?” Harry snaps.

Heavens, how right she is with her anger. “Everything what happened was not allowed.”

“Oh goddamn it, stop with this not allowed bullshit! You had plenty time to consider it and I´m sure you would´ve found another way to teach me a lesson here and stop my advances. It is simply that you regret it, isn´t it? Why can´t you say it to my face then?”

Regret? Oh if he only could regret it, then he could easily walk away. Would it be true, she´d deduced it perfectly. A pity she shows that clever mind so rarely in his class.

Severus sighs. What can he say? Really? Are there any words he could find to soften the blow? Is softening the topic clever at all?

“Yes, Potter, I regret it. Satisfied?” Severus watches how Harry´s anger evaporates and her sure stance crumples as her shoulders sack forward. She looks hurt and he hates himself for it. Before he can stop himself he relents, “Look. You are young. For you, everything is new and a whole big adventure, but I have a job that I risk with this.”

“But you knew that before and still you did all that and you came here and you gave me the feeling it meant something for you.”

Severus rubs over his face. How can he do now what is right, when it in fact is contrary to what he wants? He sits down on her bed. It´s eight o´clock now. Dinner is over. It´s only a matter of minutes until every Gryffindor swarms back into the common room, only to find out that their Potions Professor and Head of a different house is for more than two hours in a locked dormitory with Harry Potter. Perfect. As if it isn´t complicated enough.

“Harry, we can´t discuss this now. It´s too late. I really need to go,” he says urgently and stands up.

“Wait. Please.”

He halts on the way to the door. He must never let her know how much her plea affects him.

“Do you really regret me?” Harry asks with small voice.

Something inside Severus breaks. Against better knowledge he backtracks and, even more against better knowledge, pulls Harry into his arms. She´s so small, so fragile. It feels like the softest breeze could break her and he is about to crush her. Merlin help him.

“No. Not you. But that I slept with you. We can´t repeat that, it´s impossible. And I will miss it. I will miss you, because I know now how it could be. Anyway. You are a student of this school and I am your teacher and therefore, any intimate relationship is prohibited.”

Harry peers up at him, even with what he said, there is hope in her eyes.

“Does that mean you still want me and you´d do it again?”

Severus doesn´t answer. If he wanted her? If he´d do it again? Without question, but that was the problem, wasn´t it? He turns his head to the door, the noise level downstairs increases. He needs to go. He should long be gone by now. Why was he still here, holding her close?

“Kiss me again. Please,” Harry whispers but it works like if she´d shouted. Severus´ head whips around and he stares at Harry. “Please,” she says and stands on her toes.

Severus looks at her. He knows it´s foolish, but he wants it too, he wants her. So he bends down and kisses her, softly but with the layer of goodbye. But he misjudged again, completely. Harry wraps her arms around his neck and the next moment they lie on her bed, limbs tangled and kissing frantically. Harry moans into his mouth and Severus pulls back.

“Harry,” he pants and shakes his head. “Damn it.” He leans his forehead against hers and swallows. He´s going to hell. No doubt. And his trousers are uncomfortable tight again.

“Please don´t say I can´t see you again,” she pleads. Heavens, again a plea. Severus groans.

“Harry,” he argues. Is it arguing when everything he says is her name?

“Please. Severus, please.”

That´s it. He´s done.

“We´ll talk tomorrow. You still have detention.” With huge effort he pulls away, though in the last second he dips down again, pressing a firm kiss to her lips and then jumps away. “Hurry and dress!” He takes two steps to the door before he turns once again. Harry watches him. “Open the windows, I´m afraid this room reeks of sex.” He lingers, he knows that he does while he drinks her in. The soft expression on her face, the slightly parted lips, her half naked body. Fuck. Downstairs the noise is as loud as if those wretched Gryffindors are partying.

Severus finally tears his gaze from Harry and lifts the charms off the door.


	2. Chapter 2

** Chapter 2 **

The happy chit-chat and friendly banters die away as soon as the students spot Severus on the stairs. He stands straight with squared shoulders and arches one eyebrow in contempt. He notices Miss Granger´s furrowed brow as she regards him with a piercing stare. Miss Brown shows an equally contemplative look though less fierce, more curious.

It´s awkward, really it is, as he stands there on the stairs, hoping Harry might be dressed already and finds himself in a staring contest with the whole House of Gryffindor. As soon as this goes around the castle, and he has no illusions this will be the hot topic already the next morning, he will never hear the end of it. First of all will Minerva ask for an explanation, one he can´t give her and next Dumbledore will invite him for tea. Severus can virtually feel the old man´s piercing stare on him. This stare regularly makes his skin crawl while he has the undetermined feeling that Dumbledore can read his mind, indifferent that Severus is a trained Occlumence, nothing helps against those twinkling, blue eyes.

Somewhere behind him Severus hears a window opening. Good. Time to go. How long does he stand here already, anyway?

With a measured stride Severus crosses the common room, distributing cold glances and glowering sneers as he goes.

Once outside and in a safe distance to Gryffindor tower, he slips into the shadows of a nearby alcove and leans against the mercifully cold stone wall. He touches his equally cool, but annoyingly trembling, fingers to his temples and applies soft pressure.

Harry, he thinks and shakes his head. How was that even possible?

_ Retrospect _

_Severus read the letter and frowned. What should that be? He read it again. Yes of course, very funny. Hahaha. Still, his eyes flew again over the few lines. Someone fancied him? Not in all his 38 years on this planet he´d received a letter where someone claimed to fancy him. That was ridiculous._

_###_

_Holy hell!_

_Severus glanced at his hands and felt the heat in his cheeks. Hopefully they weren´t as red as they felt. So whoever wrote him those letters liked his hands and imagined them stroking…Stop! He tore his gaze from the letter and willed his thoughts into another direction. His eyes met the frightened ones from Potter. The girl appeared like caught at something. Was she the one who…Nonsense. Severus sneered about the absurdity of the thought._

_###_

_Whoever she was, she agreed to reveal her identity. Finally. Though it was ridiculous, he was somewhat nervous. Also he had the vague feeling he knew that handwriting only all too well but couldn´t put a finger on it. But he´d know soon._

_###_

_Potter! This wretched, arrogant Gryffindor brat. Making fun of him all the time and even possessing the audacity to kiss him! Kiss him for fuck´s sake! He paced up and down in his office. His fingers returned again and again to his lips, stroking over them._

_###_

_She won´t let him even ignore her. Appearing every evening on his doorstep. She´d never been this officious, so why now?_

_Obviously she thought she could expand the joke. Fine. Then she´d learn it the hard way._

_He stood up from his chair and approached Harry silently, she didn´t even stir, only as he stood so close he already could touch her she turned, a surprised expression on her face._

_“I didn´t know you´re fond of butterflies,” Harry said so soft he had to strain to hear her. Severus sneered. What did she know at all? Foolish little girl._

_“You know nothing about me,” he replied evenly._

_He watched her watching him. Her gaze held something challenging. Or was it hopeful? Doesn´t matter. So, she wanted to play with him? Here he gave her something to play. He crowded her personal space and gazed at her. Would she recognise the warning in his eyes? Most likely not. After all it was Potter he had here in front of him._

_“It´s all a game for you, isn´t it? Everything the girl-who-simply-refuses-to-die wants she gets, isn´t it so?” he asked but he gave her no chance to reply as he bent forward and brought their lips together. To be honest, it surprised him that she didn´t pull away, spluttering ineloquent nonsense. He knew he gripped her hard, too hard, but he couldn´t loosen his hands on her shoulders. Her lips were perfect, plush and soft and so pliable under his. He needed his hands as anchor as not to drown in this kiss._

_He had to stop. He even managed to break the kiss and then she shouted at him, commanded him to kiss her again. Properly. What was wrong with the girl?_

_But she asked for it, right?_

_So he kissed her, fiercer and it was madness. It was a long time since he had kissed someone with such passion. Though he only answered her challenge. That's what this was. She challenged him. Whatever reason she might've come up with why she wanted to do this, it was her own fault when she got what she asked for. And it definitely was her fault that he was so aroused. Gods he'd to stop himself. He took a step back, fighting for his self-control._

_###_

_They played her little game further. How much patience the damned girl suddenly possessed. But Severus would find the point she was not willing to cross anymore. And being completely honest with himself, it was thrilling. Only today he had cornered her in the entrance hall. He deliberately bit her lip, but even though he drew blood and she flinched, she tried not to escape. How far could and should he push her?  How long until she snapped? He told her it was a dangerous game, but was it for her or for himself? Damnit!_

_###_

_Harry entered his office. He awaited her with his gaze fixed on the door. Even though he was prepared to see her, he was not prepared to see her like that. She looked downright delicious. Her eyes were wide, her cheeks tinted in a soft pink and her lips slightly parted. Every now and then her tongue flicked out to lick over those soft, pink lips. Alone from seeing her he remembered how she felt under his hands and lips._

_He commanded her closer. She was so obedient. Still stared frightened at him._

_Suddenly he felt bad for what he was doing to her. She'd played a prank, so what? She was seventeen, he the adult. He shouldn´t react to it the way he did._

_Severus noticed that he stood. When had that happened? He caressed her lips with his thumb. Oh those plump lips. In the back of his mind echoed his recent thought, he should stop that, but how could he stop with those lips in striking distance?_

_The first soft kiss spiralled helplessly out of control and even before Severus could process what he was doing, Harry was under him, writhing and undulating in pleasure._

_He had to stop before it was too late._

_The only reaction he could muster was kicking her out._

_Whatever this girl did with his self-control it was not acceptable._

_###_

_Harry obeyed him. She didn´t come to his office, for two days. The second evening of that, Severus lay in bed. He felt uneasy. Itchy. Though, why?_

_He forced himself to relax and indeed he managed to fall asleep with no major struggle._

_But then he woke up, painfully aroused and groaning in frustration. He´d dreamed of Harry and how he´d imagined to pleasure her. But of course, that would happen, certainly. Dream on Severus!_

_But wasn´t it already happening, he considered cautiously. Entirely under the pretence of a joke. Fuck! How could he desire her so much when he knew she didn´t mean it?_

_His cock throbbed, begging for attention. Yes, of course. He wrapped his hand around himself and closed his eyes. Within seconds he pictured someone else´s hand wrapped around him. Severus cried out, shaking with pleasure and frustration._

_###_

_Harry stayed after class. She came as close as she dared and waited. Severus let her wait. He thought about his dream and considered the girl in front of him with a long gaze._

_Something was odd with her behaviour. And honestly, what kind of joke was that, anyway? Was she testing him as much as he tested her? And afterwards she returned to her imbecilic classmates and gossiped about him? No, he would know if she'd do that. But then why was she doing it if not for bragging about?_

_The longer Severus stared the more one thought pushed to the front: he desired her. More than was decent. But could it be considered taking advantage when she offered him all this? He forced her not, did he? He was not the one playing with her. No. It was the other way around._

_Finally his restraint snapped. He pulled Harry to him. Was it really his restraint? Or was he simply sexually frustrated? Bugger it. He really didn’t care. At the moment everything he cared about was this delicious body in his lap, moaning and bucking into him. Oh hell._

_Severus shoved her onto his desk. He was so hard, aching. Gods. And Harry moaned and she…Did she really? She sobbed. Severus groaned. Her face as she came would haunt him , he was sure of that. But it added only to his frustration. He could burst, but he wouldn´t find release. Not like this. She had to go, leave the problem to himself. Fuck, fuck, fuck…_

_“Fuck!” He could punch something. But whatever it was what Harry tried to accomplish she was persistent in it. And her hand was so warm, felt so wonderful on him. No dream could ever replace the reality. But he couldn´t look at her. Only with closed eyes, pretending he was dreaming he could let go. And afterwards all what kept him from embracing her and kiss her breathless was distancing himself and throwing her out again._

_###_

_He humiliated her, but still she came to him. And then...then, finally, he pushed too far._

Severus groans and hides his face behind his hands. He had been so consumed by his version of the events that he completely ignored the truth. He saw it all along in her eyes and the way she tried to touch him. She was always tender and soft and begged so openly for him to return her affection, one had only to look close enough. And he hadn't. He had closed his eyes to it. Instead he had tried to prove her wrong and Harry had yielded to his cruelty because she wanted him. Really wanted him and saw no other option to be with him as to his conditions.

Severus finally drags himself out of the alcove and down to the safety of the dungeons.

What a sick bastard is he actually? He asks himself, contemplating his face in the mirror. It was never Harry who played with **his** feelings. But he hadn't seen it until it was too late.

But anyway he stands here now and she still wants him. She even forgave him. However he feels he doesn´t deserve her forgiveness.

His visit today was meant to mend matters between them. He had never expected she´d react like she did. He went to Gryffindor tower in complete awareness that he couldn´t undo what he had done to her, that he couldn´t unhurt her. But he'd planned to save as much as possible. Even if the ship was going under he would try to bucket as much water as possible.  

But then there was Harry, broken and crying, clinging to him as if he was not the man who'd abused and violated everything good and whole in her. Her reaction had changed so much and not enough.

God, how much he wanted her. How much he wants her still, right now. It is foolish and wrong, so wrong to want that, but back in her dormitory, once he gave in and kissed her back he couldn't stop. Harry is walking temptation and oh so soft. She is perfect. And it is the biggest mistake he made in his whole life. Because that -they- can't be. She is his student. If someone learns about it he'd be forced to leave.

Stopping this enormous train of thoughts, Severus undresses and is halfway to the shower as he stops. He smells like her, sweetly, flowery where her skin had touched his and heady, musky where they'd been joined. Severus inhales. He can shower tomorrow morning as well and until then remember what Harry had shared with him.


	3. Chapter 3

** Chapter  3 **

The next morning, Severus wakes with the memory of his dream: Harry in her dormitory, under him, gasping and moaning. Only that in his dream he hadn't cast a silencing charm and crossing the Gryffindor tower afterwards was really the famous walk of shame.

Thank you, subconsciousness.

Severus groans. Quite perfect. Really. By the end of breakfast the whole school will know of his indiscretion. No, not that. Only that he spent a lot of time alone with Harry and that is bad enough.

As consequence he hides in the dungeons for the rest of the day. Gladly it is not too suspicious when he only holds classes and doesn't go upstairs for meals. He does that sometimes when he runs a new potions experiment. And another reason to be thankful is his reputation. Though the students stare, no one dares to breathe a whisper of the news, not in front of him and in his classroom, anyway.

But of course his luck is only short lived as Minerva knocks at his door. It is almost eight and Severus waits actually for Harry, but he can´t possibly kick his colleague out.

"Severus," she says sternly and his mood drops by several degrees as he sees the downward curve of her lips. "Rumour has it you visited Gryffindor tower and spent your time in the seventh year girl's dormitory." She narrows her eyes at him and Severus feels like the eleven year old in his first Transfiguration class. No matter that they are far longer colleagues now than she'd been his Professor, the woman still manages to intimidate him and make him feel like he did something wrong. Though, only that he did something wrong this time.

“Maybe you noticed that Miss Potter didn´t attend any classes yesterday, amongst them mine. I went to investigate,” Severus snips. Oh how glad he is his tone is even with a whiff of haughtiness.

But Minerva only raises an eyebrow at him. “You could´ve sent for her. But instead it appears as if you stayed over two hours in her dormitory, with no one else around. I´m far from drawing baseless conclusions and I´d certainly ignore the matter if only one or two students would tell this story. But my whole house reports that you were there, they even go so far as to claim that the door was locked and soundproofed. So what in Merlin´s name have you done there?”

Severus has to bite his tongue, literally, to keep himself from spilling the truth. Minerva´s stern gaze is far worse than Dumbledore´s investigating but friendly stare.

“I went to ask her why she missed my class. I admit we discussed, well, argued and suddenly Miss Potter was in tears and had a minor breakdown. I thought it best to keep it secret and put a silencing charm over the room.” Heavens, what rubbish was he blabbing?

“Potter in tears? In front of you? Pouring her heart out? Honestly, Severus, but that seems quite unlikely, given your history. I´m sorry but that looks rather suspicious. Even if it is more far-fetched than you listening to her teenage sorrows it appears just like you two…”

“I beg your pardon, Minerva!” Severus interrupts her. “Potter is my student. Do you really suggest I would…with a student? Her of all people?” he asks indignantly and watches with utmost satisfaction that Minerva´s expression softens but only until it knocks and Harry appears on his threshold.

Minerva raises one eyebrow. Severus glances at the clock.

“I see you still possess not the ability to read a clock properly, Potter. I remember me saying eight o´clock and not six minutes after,” he snaps.

Harry lowers her gaze and looks all contrite.

“Potter, why are you here?” Minerva asks.

“I have detention, Professor.” Harry glances to Severus and all he can do is hoping Minerva won´t see it. He shakes ever so lightly his head.

“What for? I was under the impression you served already detention for two weeks now.” Rely on Minerva to voice the obvious and make a bad situation worse, Severus thinks and grits his teeth.

“I…uhm…well…” Harry stutters.

“Miss Potter thought it extraordinary funny to prank me and I saw fit to impose detention for the rest of the year.”

Minerva opens her mouth but closes it yet again, narrowing her eyes. Then she stares at Severus. “That are three months, Severus. What could be so horrible to sanction it with a punishment of this length?”

Harry fidgets but thank goodness stands behind Minerva´s back so it goes unnoticed. Severus returns Minerva´s stare blankly. “She broke into my private quarters and rummaged through my possessions. Since then my notebook is missing. I gave her the choice to give it back. She claims she has not taken it. I guess we sit it out until summer,” he lies without hesitation.

Minerva makes a disbelieving sound, something between a snort and a huff, but she doesn´t comment any further and leaves with a terse “Good night”.

As soon as the door falls shut behind her, Severus sinks down into his chair and, elbows propped on his desk, buries his face in his hands, shaking his head. He doesn´t hear Harry coming closer and starts as her hand strokes gently over his neck. He looks up and is torn. She stands so close he can smell the sweet flower fragrant of her soap. But he mustn´t indulge. He has to stop it. But even while he thinks that, he pushes his chair back, reaches out and pulls Harry between his legs. His hands rest on her hips as he looks up at her.

“Your housemates spread rumours. Professor McGonagall is suspicious,” he says against Harry´s lips. When had she come that close? “Harry.” He cups her face and keeps her the minimum away. “We mustn´t.”

“Please,” she whispers and her breath brushes over Severus´ lips. Merlin, there´s no way she doesn´t know what she´s doing to him, otherwise she wouldn´t beg all the time. But knowing or not he complies with her wish and kisses her. He feels her smile as she responds and the sigh that leaves her as she opens her mouth for him.

It´s madness and the whole matter won´t become right only because he repeats it. They have to talk about it. Now.

Severus pushes Harry softly away and stands up.

“Seve…”

“No. Listen to me. And listen carefully because it is important that you understand everything I´m going to say. Yes?” Severus looks at Harry, now that his desk is between them he can think clearer and he has to think clear. He waits until Harry nods.

“Good…You won´t have detention with me anymore. If Professor McGonagall asks, you have no idea why. If she asks me, I´ll tell her my notebook reappeared suddenly on my desk in the classroom.” Severus lifts his hand to stop Harry from talking. “Harry, I told you we can´t keep this going. That doesn´t mean I don´t want to. In all honesty, you have no idea how much I want you, but we can´t. We mustn´t. If it comes out I´ll lose my job.”

“So what you´re actually saying is, we both have to be hurting and keep our distance, no matter if it is what we want or not,” she sums up and swallows.

Severus nods slowly. She understands the point, though she doesn´t look like she agrees. Actually she looks rather combative.

“You know what? Sod those rules. We already overstepped them the last two weeks and no one suspected anything. We can keep it this way, can´t we? It´s unlikely someone will barge in your office and interrupts anything. Besides, exactly for that occurrences are locking and silencing charms." Harry grins and rounds the desk.

“You´ll never give up until I agree, won´t you?” Severus asks. Sodding Gryffindor stubbornness. That is exactly what brought him into this situation in the first place.

“Never,” Harry says and grins even broader.

It would be so easy to give in. Really, Harry is not wrong with what she said.

“Come here,” he says and opens his arms. With his hands framing her face, he tilts her head up. Her eyes glitter happily and he has to close his own.

Severus bends down. Meeting Harry´s lips is like a shock that vibrates through his body. He fills all his senses with her. How she tastes, how she smells, how it feels to have her in his arms. He memorises everything from this moment and then breaks the kiss.

“No,” he says and pushes Harry away. “It´s not worth the risk. Go, now.” He steps away and reaches the door with her first sob.

“Why do you do this?”

“Because I have to.” He´d known it would hurt both of them, but it couldn´t be helped. He walks back to Harry and gently pushes her to the door. Except the softer treatment that situation is terribly familiar. Severus opens the door. “Go.” A last push and she is outside. She cries now openly, but he can´t help her, so instead he glances up and down the corridor, making sure they´re alone. “It´s for the best.”

He closes the door and leans heavily against it.


	4. Chapter 4

** Chapter 4 **

The last night is officially the worst night Severus ever had so far. He tossed around half of the time and the other half he thought about Harry. He´d see her today in class. Or not. Maybe she´d hide again. He knows saying no to her is the right decision, but then why does it feel so wrong?

Overtired as he is he drags himself out of bed and into his bathroom. He looks horrible. His skin is sallower than ever and dark bags under his eyes let him appear sick. With a sigh he steps under the shower.

Before he gets dressed he swallows an energizing potion. And then, because he is already late, closes the many buttons of his clothes with a flick of his wand.

Severus is just in time with the bell and opens the classroom as he smells his robes. Flowers.

He huffs. His students obviously think he´s annoyed because they are too slow and hurry to get inside the classroom.

“Quiet! Instructions are on the blackboard. You have one hour. Begin.” That was maybe the shortest introduction he ever has given but he really doesn´t care and readily ignores the puzzled faces in front of him. Though now Severus notices that one face is missing. Harry isn´t on her usual place. He turns to ask one of her friends as the door opens and a shock of black, unruly hair peeks inside.

Their eyes meet and Severus is not even capable to take points for being late. He simply puts her off with a wave of his hand and sits down behind his desk. Though, that was maybe not the cleverest idea. The students start to whisper and trade glances. Severus looks up.

“I was under the impression that you have a task,” he says with narrowed eyes. Thankfully that is enough to make everyone move and work.

He settles back in his chair and takes his quill. Time to kill time.

The sound of the bell wakes Severus from his stupor. Rather obviously he had stared into thin air for the last hour and a half. With no small amount of surprise he notices that students sit on their desks and look nervously up at him. Amazing. Just what he needs. How long are they waiting for him to react?

“Leave the cauldrons be and clear off.” He doesn´t think he ever saw students leave his classroom so fast and confused. It is definitely the first time he hadn´t assigned homework. With a deep sigh he starts his round through the room to examine today´s results. Mediocre as always. Only one or two decent brews. What the hell is he doing wrong? It is not the first time he asks himself this question. Probably he should find another approach to the topic so that even the most dim-witted…Severus stops mid-thought and -stride and stares at the last row.

“Harry…”

“I´m sorry I was late. I haven´t slept well,” she says softly and stands up.

“It´s all right. I need no explanation.” Severus turns away and walks back to his desk as she speaks again.

“Can´t you think about it again?”

Severus halts and closes his eyes. Heavens, he did nothing else last night.

“Please.”

Severus swirls around only to find Harry not half the classroom away as he´d expected but right behind him, peering with big, sad eyes up. 

“What reason could there ever be to rule out every caution and risk my position at this school?”

Instead of giving an immediate answer, Harry closes the last two steps between them and takes Severus´ hand. He is much too perplex to react and only watches as Harry lifts his hand and presses it on her breast. Now he jerks away but Harry won´t let go.

“You feel it?” she asks and lifts her free hand to his chest. “You do that to me. Make my heart beat so fast I´m almost giddy. And your heart beats fast too. It always does when I´m with you.” Harry gazes up and Severus is caught in the green depth of her eyes. Why was it so difficult to think when she was so close? “Please, don´t make me go. Severus. I want to be with you. No one needs to know. It´s our secret. Please. Oh god please, don´t make me go,” Harry begs with a thin, desperate voice. She stands now directly pressed against him. Her scent fills his nose and her words ring so sweet in his ears. How could he not give in to something he wants himself so urgently?

“Yes,” Severus whispers and forces every doubt into silence. The alarm bells in his head shriek loud but he ignores them and, bringing his arms around Harry, dips down to kiss her.

“No one can know,” he requests urgently, gazing into her eyes. “Harry. No one.”

“Everything you want,” she whispers and nods.

After she´s gone, Severus still stands at the same spot and stares at the door. All he can think is that he will pay for this indulgence, sooner or later.

***

It´s strangely familiar when Harry enters his office in the evening and far more satisfying to know that it is real and no joke.

“Hello…” Harry says and smiles with her bottom lips between her teeth. Damnit. He has to finish this.

Severus tears his eyes away and bends back over the last essays he has to grade. Out of the corner of his eyes he sees Harry discard her robes to the floor. He peers over and freezes.

Harry ambles slowly closer, completely naked and still smiling. Severus swallows. He has the vague feeling the essays will have to wait. He watches silently how Harry pushes his work aside and sits down on the free space on his desk. Her feet rest on either side of him on the armrests of his chair. Her legs are wide open and he has a perfect view on her.

“You wanted to,” Harry whispers. She´s flushed and trembling and has certainly no idea how delectable she looks.

Severus presses a kiss to the inside of her right knee while he strokes softly up her thighs and back down. Harry sighs.

Without stopping to kiss a hungry trail up the inside of her right leg, he fumbles at his robes until he finds his wand. He flicks it at the door and locks it before adding a silencing charm.

Harry´s trembling grows as he approaches the apex of her thighs, but he doesn´t touch her. Not yet. Instead he kisses the same way down he had taken up and then switches to her other leg. As he once again reaches her centre, Harry lays her hand on his cheek. She doesn´t direct him, only touches him softly.

“Don´t tease. Please.”

“What do you want me to do?” Severus asks. His breath brushes over her. Harry breathes in, sharply.

“Kiss me. There. Please.”

Severus groans. She will drive him over the edge with her begging. But once again he complies. He bends forward and places an almost shy kiss right above her clitoris.

“Here?” he rasps.

“Yes. Yes, please.”

Severus knows he will never again work on this desk and not think about Harry sprawled above, begging.

In one broad swipe of his tongue he licks over her and Harry shudders. Her hand still lingers on his face. He repeats the lick and Harry moans.

Heavens, she **is** delectable. Delicious.

Harry´s sweet moans drive Severus almost crazy and oh how sensitive she is. Only the slightest touch to her makes her tremble. He´d love to prolong this moment but as soon as he slides a finger inside her, Harry arches up and comes with a strangled cry.

Severus leans back in his chair and feels quite like the cat that ate the canary. Harry reclines on his desk and pants, her legs still spread so he can revel in the sight of her.

But then all of a sudden she glides from the desk and kneels between his legs.

“My turn,” she all but purrs and opens his trousers.

Her turn, well that´s fine with him. He leans his head back against his chair and peers from under heavy-lidded eyes down at Harry. And then she takes him into her warm palm and squeezes, lightly. Her mouth wraps around the head of his cock and Severus shudders.

God, how can she look up at him with those green eyes, her gaze so innocent?

Harry´s hand glides up and down his length while she sucks on him. Severus´ hand finds hold on her hair on its own accord. How does she know so perfectly what he likes? Gods. He can´t stop locking at her. His whole world narrows down on her mouth. How it looks, lips stretched around him and how it feels when her tongue swirls over the sensitive head if his cock.

“Harry. Wait.” Fucking hell, he´s so close.

Harry shakes her head what sends sparks of pleasure through him.

“I can´t…Harry…” But Harry won´t let go and only hums around him and then presses suddenly forward. She takes in as much of his cock as she can fit and swallows. More does it not need.

Severus grips her hair tighter and moans. Pleasure courses through him, coils deep inside him and burst outwards with another, louder moan.

He opens his eyes at a sharp knock. Harry sits back, is cock slips from between her lips, they are red, wet and in the corner of her mouth glistens a trace of his semen.

“Fuck,” Severus says and looks at the door. “Get under the desk.” He summons her robes, tucks himself back into his trouser and rubs once over his face before he takes his quill in hand and spells the door open.

“Severus,” Minerva says and walks in. “Are you alone?”

Severus looks right and left and then to Minerva.

“Obviously. I´m grading.”

“Oh and there I thought Miss Potter were here for detention.” The smile on the woman´s face doesn´t appeal to Severus only the slightest. It´s almost as if she knows that Harry is here.

“I reduced the frequency to three times a week. Otherwise I won´t manage my workload. But I take that is not the reason you´re here.” Severus arches an eyebrow. Blimey, what does she want?

“Actually I´m looking for Miss Potter. I need to discuss her latest Transfiguration essay with her. Miss Granger said she went for detention with you, but when she isn´t here…” Minerva looks pointedly around.

“Should I see her I´ll let you know.” Severus hopes she would finally go and it all but looks like it. Though, at the door Minerva stops again.

“You should be cautious, Severus. Students gossip about your absent minded behaviour the last days, ever since you´ve visited Gryffindor tower. You might say different, but if you and Potter are intimate it will come out and it won´t agree with you.”

Severus contemplates Minerva for a second. They always got along quite well. She was supportive from day one as he started teaching but like this he doesn´t know her.

“Is that a threat?” he asks lowly and stands up.

“Severus, what are you thinking? I merely stated the obvious. Don´t make a mistake you´ll rue.”

Minerva glances at his desk before meeting his eyes again. They stare at each other. Severus feels his blood freeze in his veins. She knows. There´s no doubt.

And then while turning she says, “Sometimes one silencing charm isn´t enough,” and closes the door behind her.

With shaking hands, Severus slumps back in his chair. Harry crawls from under the desk. She looks as worried as he feels.

“She knows,” he whispers.

Harry makes a sudden step and climbs on his lap. She wraps her arms tightly around his neck and buries her face in the crook of his neck.

“I won´t leave you. I know you want that I go now. But I won´t,” she says with a stubborn tone.

And she´s right. Severus thought about to end it. But then again, Minerva has no proof. Only her suspicions and Dumbledore won´t fire him on the base of suspicions.

“I know,” he says and brings his arms around Harry. Nothing bad could happen as long as they were cautious.


	5. Chapter 5

** Chapter 5 **

The door is torn open the same second the knock resounds from it. Severus flinches. He hadn't expected anyone at this time. But now Harry storms through the room, face reddened, eyes wild and panting. Severus manages to stand up the second she reaches him and flings herself into his arms.

"Harry? Is something wrong? Did you run the whole way?" So much for caution and secrets. The whole week Minerva eyed him with open suspicion. There was no need Harry manages now to draw real attention to them.

"Hermione, she asked...and what if? I can't...Oh gods then all comes out and I...Why haven't I thought about it. And you and..."

"Harry calm down. I can't follow you." Severus prises her hands from his robes and pushes her down in his chair, crouching in front of her. Her breathing comes in short puffs and she already claws on him again, her fingers bite painfully strong in his shoulders.

"Breathe. Slowly. Calm down." Severus strokes circles over her thighs and slowly her grasp on his shoulders lessens and her breathing evens out. "Now again. What happened that you probably alerted half the castle with your sprint down here?"

Harry stares at him for almost one minute without saying anything and Severus is tempted to shake her as she finally speaks.

"Hermione guessed it right why you've been so long in our dorm."

"Well, I trust Miss Granger will..."

"Severus!" Harry shouts and interrupts him. "We never talked about contraception."

Now it is on Severus to stare. His whole body feels numb as he replays Harry's first rush of stuttered nonsense, only that it wasn't nonsense at all.

"Harry," he croaks. "Don't tell me you..." He stops himself. Of course she doesn't use anything to prevent a pregnancy. Otherwise she wouldn't be so agitated about it and anyway, he was her first why should she think about contraception when she had no sex before?

For goodness' sake that can't be true!

"Pomfrey. Now!" Severus jumps up and grips Harry's wrist. She doesn't protest and let him drag her once through the whole castle until they reach the infirmary. Severus doesn't even stop to knock and simply rushes inside, not unlike Harry rushed into his office twenty minutes earlier.

"Poppy!" he shouts.

The Matron peeks out of her office, obviously startled.

"Miss Potter needs contraceptive measurements."

Madam Pomfrey frowns and regards the two people in front of her critically. "Now, first we all calm down and then we start the story at the beginning and not at its end," she says and points into her office and to a sitting group in one corner.

Only when Severus sits down next to Harry, he notices the calm but knowing look on the Matron's face. Quickly he starts to explain, "Poppy, whatever you think you know, you got it all wrong. Miss Potter..."

"Is afraid of being pregnant. Yes I understand. What I don't understand is why you of all people drag her here and that with such turmoil." Pomfrey raises one eyebrow and goes on before anyone can say a word, "I've seen a lot in this school and I'm no one who's easily surprised. Though, I am now. Especially because I know you, Severus. You are cautious and responsible in everything you do and you're certainly the last of all people I'd ever assumed would forget about the necessity of birth control."

"Poppy you're conclusion..."

"Is right," she cut in again. "You're not likely to panic but when you do it is always about something concerning you personally. And now hush. I don't care with whom you sleep. And no, not even when it's a student."

Severus stares at Hogwarts' Matron and is speechless, something that happens not often to him. How was it possible that this woman was so perceptive and guessed the situation right within a blink of an eye? Was he so easily to read?

"Harry dear, when was your last bleeding?" Pomfrey turns to Harry who looks still frightened and pale.

"About two weeks ago?"

“And sex?”

“The last week,” Harry whispers.

Pomfrey sighs and even Severus understands immediately and groans.

"That is a really unfortunate timing." Pomfrey tugs on her bottom lip while thinking.

Severus shifts in his chair.

"I'm afraid we can't do more than wait. Until then I suggest you take precautions," Madam Pomfrey says and stands up.

"I know there is an abortive potion, wouldn't  that..."

"Of course, if you're inclined to hurt Harry. Those potions' effects are very painful and it is not recommended to use them with only a suspicion exactly because of the pain. You wouldn't want to consider it unless it is necessary."

Heavens, why wouldn't the woman let him finish his sentences today?

"I guess you find your way out alone. Come back if the period is late." With that Madam Pomfrey leaves her office and heads for the far end of the infirmary.

Severus gazes at Harry again, her expression is painfully open. She's afraid. Given her cautious glances and the nervous swallowing she's probably as afraid of being pregnant as of his reaction.

"It's not your fault. I should've thought about it." Yes, he should have. There were 101 possibilities to take precautions and he chose none. Clever. Really clever.

“You are not angry?”

“Oh Harry.” Severus stands up and pulls Harry to her feet, wrapping his arms around her. Funny, only one week ago he thought it couldn´t get worse. And now it is not only that Minerva has her suspicions, no with his luck Harry is also pregnant. Fabulous.

Pregnant. Oh for fuck´s sake. Why does something like that always happen to him? Besides, there was no way to keep **that** a secret.

“What if…” Harry starts but Severus silences her with pressing his mouth on hers. He really doesn´t want to think about it any further. Instead he mumbles without really breaking contact, “You´ll have detention. Now.”

They leave the infirmary and walk back to the dungeons. Harry turns to Severus´ office, but he takes her hand and pulls her further down the corridor and to his private quarters.

As they enter, Harry looks around with wide eyes. She was never here before. Severus follows her gaze. The private rooms of the Professors are not much. Except of a small bathroom, it´s only one room with just enough space for a small sitting area in front of the fireplace, a bed and a wardrobe. In Severus´ case the furniture is dark. The only spot of colour is the bed cover. A patchwork quilt in different shades of green and blue.

Harry seems captivated with looking around. Severus steps behind her and embraces her. She leans back and gives him better access to her neck as he starts nibbling at it. With sure hands he undresses her methodically. It amazes him every time anew how trusting she is and even more how pliant. There is little he can´t have from her. But the only thing he wants now is to feel her and quick, so he abandons his efforts of kissing as much of her skin as he can reach and hurriedly undresses himself.

“Bed. Now.” Severus smiles as Harry scurries away and crawls in the middle of his bed. With little patience he cast the first contraceptive charm that comes to mind and follows Harry. She looks up at him and opens her arms. There is no hesitation and Severus is not sure anyway if he could stand waiting right now. The need to be inside her gets urgent and he gives in but tries to take it as slow as possible nonetheless. Holy hell. Harry feels perfect around him. If he could choose a way to die he would choose this. Enveloped by her silken heat and her arms and legs slung around him, while she sighs softly in his ear, even though he doesn’t move yet. But then he pulls back and thrust inside again. Harry tightens her arms around him.

“Yes. Don´t hold back. Take me.”

He does, buries himself again and again inside her tight heat and Harry begs. She long learned that it pushes him farther and almost drives him crazy. She uses it shamelessly against him.

“Yes. Severus. More. Please. Gods. Please.” Each word is a thrust but she begs still for more and more she gets. Severus pulls away and even before she knows what he does, he flips her around and pulls her on her hips back. And now he yields to her wish, growling and panting while he thrusts almost violent into her. But Harry moans in response, mewls and whimpers until he brings one hand around her and strokes her in the rhythm of his thrusts.

As she comes and clenches around him, Severus has no idea how he manages to not follow her. He stills completely and only strokes Harry through her orgasm, mouthing the skin between her shoulder blades. She lets out a shaky sigh and pushes back against him.

“No, wait,” Severus says and keeps stroking her tenderly.

“What are you doing?”

Severus smiles against her skin. “I want that you come again.”

Harry´s ragged moan is all he needs to keep going. His cock throbs and twitches inside her with each gasp that falls from her open mouth. Harry trembles as much as Severus and he´s sure he was never happier to hear her say that she´s about to come. With a relieved groan he moves his hips. Only after three thrusts he shouts his release into Harry´s neck and together they collapse in a heap of tangled, sweaty limps and utterly exhausted to the bed.  

In the haze of his afterglow Harry turns around and frowns.

“What if…” She starts again like she did in the infirmary and again Severus stops her with a kiss.

“We will sort that out should it become real. Not before.” And he hopes dearly it never comes so far.

****


	6. Chapter 6

** Chapter 6 **

"Potter, stay," Severus drawls as bored as possible, though his heart beats so fast he's actually afraid someone might notice. With growing impatience he watches the students stroll away. Really, they're always in a hurry except for today.

Harry approaches his desk. She glances over her shoulder as finally the last of her classmates has cleared off.

"And?" Severus asks without further explanation.

Harry draws a shaky breath and shakes her head.

Severus leans back in his chair, groaning, and rubs his hands over his face. He is not good with waiting.

"Please don't tell me we managed a lucky shot."

He looks at her in disbelieve as she starts chuckling.

"Well, would be you with the lucky shot," she giggles.

"Potter! This is everything but funny," he growls with gritted teeth. Harry sobers immediately.

"I know, and really, it's the last thing I want. Usually my period is pretty accurate. I was never late. Why now?"

Though the question might be justified it doesn't help calm his nerves. Neither did Poppy's smile as she told them that one week late is still normal and they should wait it out. One week! Damn it! If he has to wait only one day longer he dies from anxiety. How should he manage 5 more days?

***

“Professor Snape.” Harry´s voice alerts him and as he turns around Severus sees her quickly coming closer. Today is one week plus one day after Harry should've gotten her period but until now nothing happened. Severus barely ate or slept the last days and his mood is worse than ever. Though, given Harry's expression it will most likely not get better.

"Harry, please say yes," Severus begs quietly and pulls her around a corner in an empty corridor.

"I'm sorry. Really. I'm so sorry." Harry steps closer and peers up at him.

But Severus shakes his head and touches her face . Softly he strokes his thumb over her cheek. "It's not your fault. Come. Let's see Poppy." He prepares himself already for the "good" news, though it really feels like he's on his way to his execution. He doesn't even think about the consequences as he takes Harry's hand and squeezes it to reassure her at least as much as himself.

Madam Pomfrey seems to wait for them already and ushers them in the farthest corner of the infirmary, closing the curtain quickly around the bed. While she runs a diagnostic spell, Severus wrings his hands.

“Poppy, please tell me it´s negative.”

“Yes, you can relax,” Poppy says and slides her wand into her apron. She smiles. “I´ll let you a moment alone so you can let the news settle in.”

Severus exchanges a glance with Harry. She smiles relieved and pulls him onto the bed with her.

“Thank goodness,” she whispers and then kisses Severus who simply agrees silently. At least this disaster is averted for now.

In a sudden rush of tenderness Severus pulls Harry closer in his arms and embraces her while he covers her face with kisses. Harry giggles and then leans back a little.

“I think you lied. You're not at all harsh. Actually, you´re a softy in disguise.”

Severus huffs but amused. “Definitively not, but around you I can´t help it. I don't want to be any different to you.”

Harry smiles and pulls him into another kiss as someone clears his throat behind them.

“Well, what have we here?” Headmaster Dumbledore asks with not the faintest hint of his trademark benign smile. Behind him, a few steps away, stands Minerva with Poppy who looks rather unhappy.

“Albus…” Severus starts and quickly gets up from the bed.

“No need for explanations, Severus. I think I saw enough.” Dumbledore regards Severus and then Harry with a disappointed look. “A word in my office. Please,” he says to Severus and turns to leave.

“Albus, we both know what you want to say, so do it here. There´s no reason, Harry shouldn´t hear it.” Severus straightens and waits for the response of the Headmaster. But before he has the chance to address Severus, Minerva steps forward.

“I´m sorry, Severus. I really am. You know I was suspicious, but I´d have ignored it without definite proof. But just now in the corridor. You tried not even to hide. I couldn´t ignore it. There are rules,” Minerva tries to explain, though she looks meanwhile almost as unhappy as Pomfrey. Astonishingly even Dumbledore seems not happy about the turn of events.

“Severus, I have to ask you to leave as soon as possible,” Dumbledore says now.

“No,” Harry says and stands up. She takes Severus´ hand and glowers at the Headmaster. “You can´t fire him. He did nothing wrong.”

“Harry, let it be,” Severus says softly and turns to her. “We both knew that this would happen when someone learns about us.”

“No, I refuse to accept this.” She turns to Dumbledore. “Headmaster, I´m of age. I´m leaving Hogwarts in three months, for good. Is that really necessary?”

Severus watches her. He´s surprised how calm she is. Usually when Potter argues about the unfairness of life she´s rather heated. Shouting fits and broken glass are no rarity. But now she behaves all grown up and level-headed. Even the Headmaster seems to notice it.

“Harry, my girl. The rules are there for a reason,” he argues softly.

“Oh please! When have I ever obeyed one single rule? You never chastised me for it the way you should´ve but now you do? That´s ridiculous.”

Severus smirks, her temper finally shows. And heavens, she is right. How often has he argued with Dumbledore about exactly that topic?

The Headmaster contemplates for a moment, gazing all the while from Harry to Severus and then finally he sighs.

“I can´t effort to lose my Potions Master, especially not so close to the exams. You can stay, Severus. But it doesn´t mean I allow this intimacy to continue. And no, Harry, I won´t hear a single word against it. What you do after you finished your education will be your matter but as long as you are a student in this school I won´t allow it. I therefore prohibit any contact between you outside of classes. If you can´t or won´t obey it means the immediate dismissal of Severus.” He gazes sternly foremost at Harry, then he adds, “In case you try to circumvent the prohibition I will arrange for appropriate provisions.” He steps aside and seems to wait for Severus to follow.

Severus curses inwardly. Of course he had known that he´d pay for this relationship, but actually he´d also hoped it would take longer than those short two weeks. He starts about his own thoughts. When had their arrangement changed into a relationship in his mind? They´d never talked about their emotions. Well they talked rather seldom at all.

He feels Dumbledore´s gaze on his back. Time to hurry.

Severus pulls Harry into his arms and whispers into her ear, “Don´t do anything rush. Wait until I do something.” He holds her on arm´s length away and peers intently at her until she nods.

“Severus, if you please.” Dumbledore seemed uneasy and rather eager to get out of this situation.

Severus rolls his eyes and then smiles at Harry. She smiles back and before Severus can leave, stands on her toes and kisses him.


	7. Chapter 7

** Chapter 7 **

_Harry,_

_Please don´t try to defy the Headmaster. I guess the measures he arranged for means we´re watched by house-elves. If we keep a low profile we can endure this mess._

_I know you hate it, but you can´t change the situation. The good part is there are really only three months left of this school year and after that we´re free to be together. If that is what you want._

_I noticed earlier in the infirmary that we never named what this is between us, but I feel I want to._

_So what is this for you?_

_Yours,_

_Severus_

 

Severus rereads his letter and shakes his head. Funny that it started like this between them and now they´re already back to it. He folds the letter carefully and rolls it into Harry´s latest Potions´ essay. This way she will find it and he doubts that Dumbledore will check if they write each other.

***

_Severus,_

_Thank you for the warning. You´re right, I would´ve done something potential stupid. You know me too well._

_What this is between us…I thought we´d be together, but I understand when you think different about it._

_The truth is, I have feelings for you and those are more as simple affection and carnal desire._

_I hope I´m not alone with it._

_Love,_

_Harry_

Severus looks up from the letter and peers across the Great Hall, meeting Harry´s gaze. He smiles briefly and then concentrates on his breakfast again.

***

They keep writing over the course of the next weeks, reassuring each other they´d manage it. Though the letters get less frequent the closer the exams are.

Severus finds himself restless and often wanders whole nights through the castle, wondering what Harry might do now.

And the more time passes the angrier he gets with Dumbledore. What business has he with Severus´ love life, anyway? The prohibition of teacher-student-relationships had been originally installed to protect underage students and was a relic of time immemorial where it had been not uncommon that a fourteen year old had to marry. In this point Wizards hadn´t differ too much from Muggles.

But nowadays this rule simply exists because no one feels the need to start a bureaucratic marathon to get rid of it. But anyway, Harry was no minor but for almost a whole year of age and far from unable to make her own decisions. Still Dumbledore sees fit to intermeddle. Had Severus after 18 years of spying for the man and bending to his will not earned the right to be happy? Obviously not. In their last conversation Dumbledore had expressed the concern about this relationship and how unhealthy it is for Harry. He never said it openly but summing it up, Dumbledore asked Severus to break up with Harry and let her go.

Still seething about this gall, Severus hadn´t noticed that he squashed the geranium roots instead of cutting them. But at noticing, he huffs in frustration and flings the knife away. His class, a bunch of second year Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs, looks frightened up.

“Stop gawping. You´d do better to concentrate on your Girding Potion,” he snaps and immediately all students invert their eyes.

It´s about time this school year is over. He´s fed up with teaching idiots, but especially with seeing Dumbledore´s benign smile and damned, twinkling eyes which are hard to ignore when they flash several times a day in his direction. There was a time he hadn´t seen Dumbledore several days in a row. And now? He seems to follow him.

With new boiling anger Severus attacks another handful of geranium roots.


	8. Chapter 8

** Chapter 8 **

After ten weeks of secret correspondence via letters and except from that stern silence and the effort to ignore each other at all cost, it´s finally the last day of term.

Severus was never before in his life so happy to leave the school. Hogwarts had always been his home, his refuge, but the last weeks it had felt like a torture chamber, a prison and he was more than eager to escape.

He listens only with half an ear to Dumbledore´s elongated speech and how proud he is of the students and how much luck he wishes those who leave Hogwarts finally after seven years of education. At this point Severus peers up.

“…therefore officially released. Congratulations.” Dumbledore beams around the room.

Severus looks at Harry. That´s it. She´s no student anymore. Their eyes meet and then Harry stands up. Food appears on the table, but Severus only looks at Harry and how she slowly walks up the aisle to the Head table. More and more students notice her and the beginning buzz of happily chatting and eating children ceases. Dumbledore peers up too, a deep frown furrows his forehead.

As Harry is halfway up the way, Severus stands up and approaches her, though he walks more quickly. They stop in front of each other.

“I´m no longer student of this school,” Harry says with a hopeful smile, her voice carries easily through the hall.

“Took you long enough,” Severus answers with a smirk. All the frustration of the last weeks vanishes as he pulls Harry into his arms. Never had Severus thought he could feel anything comparable and not for his life had he thought he´d feel it for a Potter. But here he is, in love with Harry Potter and well-nigh overjoyed with it.

Around them the students and teachers start whispering. But what? Fuck the gossip. Really. Fuck it all. Severus bends down and kisses Harry. The ensuing silence is deafening. But Harry smiles. And Severus turns around to the Head table and looks at Dumbledore. Yes. He´s so fed up with this old man and his scheming and meddling.

“I resign,” Severus says loud and clear. Then he takes Harry´s hand and leaves without looking back.


End file.
